Saturday, January 21, 2012

How the Fuck Did We Get Here?

I keep hearing people say how desperately we need a third party, something to offer a choice other than the Democrats and Republicans.

This country doesn't need a third party, it needs a second party. We already have a third party: it's called the GOP. Those three letters stand for Batshit Crazy Party.

The Republican Party is no longer the party of the country club set. A long time ago, 1980 to be exact, the country clubbers let the holy rollers in to the club so they could add votes for the flailing party. It made the holy rollers feel part of the club for a while, but the reality was that the party elders knew the holy rollers would be at church on Sunday, when the suits and their wives were having their martini's at the club. Thus, no need to associate with the riff-raff.

But on Monday-through-Saturday the riff-raff, aka the holy rollers plus the feeble-minded tea partiers and the John Birchers - YIKES! who let them back in? - became the majority of the GOP. And the suits are finally freaking out because they've lost control of their creation. If you've ever seen a Frankenstein movie you already know how this turns out.

But there's no going back. The GOP is now so far to the right that even a sharp left turn would barely help get them anywhere near the center. The party's only hope is to get the lunatics out - split the sucker in half (or thereabouts) and pray the surviving half isn't the half with the deranged brain.

Or maybe Frankenstein is the wrong analogy. Right now this party nominating process resembles nothing so much as a bad roadshow version of Marat/Sade. It's third parties that are supposed to be the domain of the lunatic fringe. Well, welcome to the GOP.

Meanwhile, for the first time in my life I'm thoroughly enjoying a
Republican primary season. What a glorious fiasco.

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