After last night's GOP Debate - Nightmare on Elm St, Part 753 - Newt's chances seem to be diminishing faster than the wind from a manatee's ass (actually, now that I think about it, Newt resembles a manatee's ass). What are the Teapers and the evangers gonna do now? I think in some ways this is the biggest question - not who's going to be the nominee.
The far right of the GOP doesn't want Mitt. That much is obvious. Hell, it was obvious back when they were ready to jettison him for Michelle Bachmann or Herman Cain - talk about theatre of the absurd. They only settled on Newt when everyone else they'd ever consider had been bumped off. But Newt got them all hot and bothered during the debates because he went all sideshow geek on us and ripped apart a live chicken with his teeth, flinging flesh and feathers everywhere. That crowd loved it. That's of course the crowd that cheered when Rick Perry bragged how he executed a couple of hundred human beings. They cheered. These people are out for blood - and for a while there Newt was prepared to give it them. His debate performances were, for a while, show stoppers. The Bloodlust Crowd had finally found the Freddie Kruger of their dreams.
This is what they want - they keep saying it: they want someone who is going to get on the debate stage with Obama in the fall and rip him to shreds. The man who represents everything they despise - that black, liberal, Muslim, food-stamp loving black man over there - well, Newt was going to devour him like of those chickens.
So here's what I find interesting about this: forget the loons in the GOP and their Ten Years Hate. What's interesting is that debates have now become the main focus of presidential campaigns. To such a degree that these folks were going to nominate a guy simply because he had demonstrated the ability to attack viciously in a debate (forget for a moment that he was attacking, y'know, Wolf Blitzer). They would have bet the farm all on Newt's fangs showing in the debate.
Given his flaccid performances in the last two debates I wonder what they're thinking now.
Regardless, let's say Newt got the nomination. And let's say he remained true to their evisceration-longing hearts. Take a moment and try to picture Newt debating Obama. Imagine what that would be like. Frothing, spewing, attacking, gnashing, preening Newt versus - remember him in debates with Hillary and with McCain? - calm, reasonable, respectful, decent Obama.
I don't care whether you like the President or not. I do. Very much. But get your head out of your ass long enough to comprehend that most people don't hate him, don't want to attack him, don't want to rip him to shreds like an overplump Rhode Island Red. All the majority of America needs to see is that beatific calm and steady-handedness against the spluttering, spattering, feather-laden spewing of Newt the Merciless. You will be astonished by the groundswell of support the president gets the next day.
In other words, no one outside your inbred family wants blood, gullets and teabaggers' jizz staining their walls. The Civil War's over - you lost; the Vietnam war's over - we lost; the election of a liberal wasn't a tragedy. His re-election may just be the only sane path we have.
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